Still here

We are still still here....December is entirely too busy. I can't wait for the weekend after Christmas..we have two whole days of not having to be anywhere or doing anything specific.

Jupiter is in a destructive phase. Her clothes, mostly. She has shredded all of her nylon tights. She got a hole in one pair one day at school and discovered how much fun and how much muscle work she got out of destroying them. The next time she wore nylon tights...ripped them up. She only has her ballet tights left. I told her I wouldn't buy anymore tights. She ripped a pair of jeans at school too. She ripped the sole off a boot. Yesterday she ripped a pair of black leggings.

However, yesterday she was also very lovey. To me. She offered to share her snack with me. She wanted to snuggle at bedtime. She also snuggled with me tonight. She was talking away, then all of a sudden she put her head on the pillow and fell asleep. I'm not sure she meant too...she just couldn't stay awake anymore. She picked up her ceramic unicorn off the shelf yesterday and said that she was giving it to me for Christmas and I should pretend to be surprised.

I figured out that some of her behavior lately is reacting to me, or my inability lately to deescalate things the way I should. I figured out that since my job function changed, I am more drained at the end of the day than I used to be. Not in as good a place when I get home. And not Jupiter's fault at all. And that I need to be conscious of that and leave work feelings at work. Or at least put them away until later. Easier said than done, but easier when I'm consciously aware of it.

Still don't like work. The actual function is getting a little easier as I get more familiar with it. Getting along with the people in my new department isn't going very well. They didn't all get along before I showed up with one other new person....and we all don't get along now. Today I left annoyed with two co-workers and one supervisor. It takes a lot out of anyone when it goes on day after day after day. And at least in loss prevention, it felt like my job mattered. Not so much anymore. I wish I could win the lottery and become independently wealthy and not have to work. But that's not likely to happen, so I guess I'd better learn to deal. Or find a new job. Also easier said than done. I don't want to leave the bank. Not because I like working there, but because I have 11 years of service, four weeks vacation, and a $5000 adoption benefit available to me. These are not things which come easily in today's job market. So I continue to hope for improvement. And at least my liberal PTO allows me enough days and half days off to lessen the stress somewhat.


On Sunday at my mother's cookie party, I was sitting on her couch with my brother's St. Bernard pupply snuggled on one side of me, and Jupiter snuggled on the other side of me, patting the dog. I could have sat like that for hours. Even though it only lasted ten seconds, it was my favorite minute of the week. I think I'll use it at my zen place tomorrow at work.

BRING ANYA HOME!!!

http://bringanyahome.org/


Please Please Please go here!! My blog buddy and awesome mom Keri has been trying to bring home her adopted daughter's bio sister from Russia since 2005..just when they thought Anya would be home this weekend the embassy denied the visa and Anya is currently stuck. Keri is looking for any and all support, aid, and prayers. Even though Anya lives halfway around the world at the moment, Keri is truly this girl's mother and the sisters just want a chance to be together.

http://www.facebook.com/clgeiger?v=feed&story_fbid=189756314519#/group.php?gid=187383332849&ref=ts




http://www.necn.com/Boston/New-England/2009/12/02/Mass-family-seeking-to-adopt/1259790454.html


If there's anybody out there who can make this story go national...go to it :).

Christmas Shopping Update

I got my doll. And my outfit. I had to make them search the back stock room (just in case you're interested, the Tar*et website may indicate that an item is available, but in the case of certain items, that means that various types of the same item come in at the same time and available simply means that some KIND of that item is available. Not necessarily the specific one you are looking for. But they had it. Then I had to search the store for a coupon because I left mine at home. Go figure. Got both. All good.

Now I have a problem. Last year I hid all the Christmas stuff in the trunk of the car because I could lock it. Not a plan that works so well with my hatchback with the big giant window in the back. What was I thinking? Maybe I can hide them in the storage closet at work or something.


I got home from shopping and one of the fish was dead. I am horrifically squeamish about dead fish. With my eyes half closed I managed to get it out of the fish tank and flushed. I think Max or Eagle (whichever one is not dead) misses his buddy. Or possibly tried to eat his buddy because I forgot to feed them this morning during the mad dash out of the house so as not to be late for the IEP meeting. But the goldfish are almost two years old now. Quite geriatric by goldfish standards. Though he seemed to be swimming around just fine yesterday..so not sure what happened today. It's a mystery.

IEP went okay. We're going on a specific behavior goal plan where she checks in every morning and gets a specific behavior goal for the day. At the end of the day she checks out and gets to chat about how well the goal was reached or not reached. She gets stickers for good choices. I'm not sure how effective it's going to be, but at least it's something concrete she can see, so it's worth a try. She also gets a little sheet that the teachers get to fill out when they notice negative behaviors occurring. Part of this is for documentation purposes because there has been very little documentation thus far. Having motor breaks in the OT room once or twice a day has not been shot down. They think they can work that into the schedule. When we were discussing that piece the administrator thought there were other kids who would benefit from the same type of thing. I'm sure there are many of them. Why there isn't a program in place to provide that service to the kids who would benefit from this is beyond me. Well, it's money and staffing of course. But still annoying. We're already taking placement and transition for first grade. We all agree that handling that the right teacher and the transition are of the utmost importance.

Academically Jupiter is just fine. It's all the behavior and anxiety issues that challenge her. But she's working hard and Mrs. VerdantLand and I are very proud of her.

tech help

If anybody knows how I can get my blog to play a song (guess what song?) please comment and let me know..I am so not technically inclined

thanks

Storm (Midnight's Song) Lyrics

Jupiter is watching an episode of the Saddle Club and this song just came on. Jupiter asked me to find it online for her. I would have found it anyway even if she hadn't asked me because it just made me cry. Here are the words.




A new day has begun
The worst is over now but the damage has been done
And you bear the scars of everything that you've been through
Now you have someone who believes in you

Free like the earth
Strong as the mountain
Free like the ocean
Wild in the storm
Free like the fire burning
Brighter than a star
Free like the wind
Whispering in your heart


The brightest star I know
I just want to see your true colors show
There within your heart let your light shine for all to see
So you can be the best that you can be


Free like the earth
Strong as the mountain
Free like the ocean
Wild in the storm
Free like the fire burning
Brighter than a star
Free like the wind
Whispering in your heart
I'm free

Wherever you find your home
You can take us with you wherever you roam
There's a place within our hearts and you'll always be there
You're earth water fire and air

Free like the earth
Strong as the mountain
Free like the ocean
Wild in the storm
Free like the fire burning
Brighter than a star
Free like the wind
Whispering in your heart
I'm Free
Free like the ocean
Free like the fire burning
Free like the wind
Whispering in your heart

Vapir & balla slprs

Juipter has totally gotten the "kindergarten writing" skill down. She now sounds out words and sentences and writes them 100% phonetically. Sometimes I can read it. Mostly I come up short and Jupiter tells me I can't read. Just because Mrs. VerdantLand can look at a page of kindergarten writing and read it like she was reading regular English writing.

Last Thursday I was emptying her backpack and I pulled out a red and black painting clearly labled "Vapir." She loves vapir's all of a sudden. I'm not sure why. I do not have her watching Buffy or anything like that. Maybe it's a Halloween holdout. Anyway, she painted a lovely picture in class. Complete with lots of red blood. It rated right up there with the "Life as an Army Demolition Expert" homework assignment. Fortunately it was in her regular classroom, not the art room. For some reason Mrs. VerdantLand didn't feel the need to hang the picture on the classroom door.

Aside from Vapir's, she can now write and draw in her journals. In the plural. She has many journals. She has at least three kids in her class also journaling because they see Jupiter getting such joy from her journals. She wrote a picture for her riding instructor (who, btw, is much quicker at reading kindergarten writing than I am) and labled that. She wrote a sign last week that said "Mi Mom is mad bekuz I lost mi balla slprs." Which was accurate. On Friday night I went nuts when I was cleaning her room and found her ballet bag shoved in the corner of the closet, packed with various dress up costumes, tap shoes shoved in a corner, leotard and tights mixed up in her bedsheets, and no balla slprs to be found anywhere in the house. I was convinced that I accidentally threw them away in the bag of Sunday School project scraps I accumulated while waiting for dance class to end the week before last. Since we didn't find the shoes in the lost and found, the dance school manager let us go through the back room box of shoes that people can take. Jupiter found a suitable pair of balla slprs in the box and we took those. I was less mad because I didn't have to buy a whole new pair. Jupiter likes the new slippers better because they are made out of velvet and are more comfortable than the leather ones were on her wide feet.

Today I bought gas. Since Jupiter wasn't with me, I went through the backseat of the car looking for stuff to throw away. I checked the secret compartment in the console. Guess what I found there. That's right...the lost balla slprs. Go figure. Guess we didn't look in the secret compartment. And I thought it was MY fault they were lost. HA!!

Vacation!!!!!!!!!!!

And peace reigned. Aaaaaaahhhhh.

Yesterday was a GREAT day. We stayed home almost all day after our usual weekend run around. Sunday she was invited to a birthday party at the pool.

Yesterday we just chilled out. She hauled all of her old Little People stuff out of the sunporch and played with them very nicely while I stayed in the room and did other stuff. After lunch she snuggled with me on the couch and we watched Smokey Mountain Christmas. She threw a celebration for her cat Autumn Leaf. We dropped off a pie at the Monday night meal. We had dinner. She did some art on the floor after supper. At one point she used the tape (the very same tape that over the weekend went flying at my head when she got mad at it) and pointed out to me how she wasn't getting mad at the tape.

I agreed. She wasn't getting mad at me either. It was THE BEST day. Jupiter noticed too. I LOVE vacation. I wish we could do it all the time. I'm sure all the time vacation wouldn't be idyllic. But it's sure nice this week. I'll take it.