Monday, May 11, 2009

Mother's Day

Big thanks to those of you who posted about the negative aspects of Mother's Day for foster/adoptive kids. I'd never really considered that perspective before, so it was very helpful to hear that view. And not to take it personally when my angel was spitting at me and kicking me at 7:45 am on Mother's Day. Not that I think it really had anything to do with it being Mother's Day. She was just in a big snit because being disrespectful and rude was not getting me to help her. (And since she threw the cheerleader costume skirt at me, I put them away for the day instead of helping her put them on.) Which, considering that I've said those words to her 8 million times in the last six months, you would think might be starting to sink in. But sometimes being defiant is more important to her than getting what she needs. She loves it when I verbalize that for her. "Is it more important to you to be defiant right now, or to get ____________ (fill in the blank).

So anyway, yesterday for Mother's Day we just stayed home alone. All day. And since I'd been in her bed since 3:30 and there's no clock in her room, we were up shortly after sunrise, so it was a longer day than it might have been. Have to remember to get a clock for her room. I finally got her to sit with me on the couch for a half an hour and then the day took a much more positive note. We baked some snickerdoodles which she layered in copious amounts of cinnamon sugar, made pizza dough, and finally when the rain stopped we went outside to give her new Barbie roller skates (we paid a dollar at a yard sale for them. Whoohoo) a workout. She spent ten minutes drinking water out of a cup and spitting it out in the sink. I determined it was some kind of sensory need and let her do it. After supper we used her paint pens to do art together (everytime I did a picture she felt the need to improve them with her interpretation. My sun became her crsythanthamum.) and she turned the pages into a new book. And then she even climbed into my lap without me even ASKING so we could look at it together. That was the Mother's Day gift, right there. Not that I didn't like the beautiful plant pots and the card she did at school which she is trying to hide from me because she likes it. I'm trying to hide it from her because I like it.

The cat, on the other hand, ran to my bedroom to hide and sulked at me because Jupiter was home. All day. One too many trips to the doll bed..

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