Wednesday, October 21, 2009

It's Jupiter's last day of being five

In the morning, she will be six. years. old.

I remember doing lifebook pages when she was a baby and thinking how long it would be before I got to do the fifth birthday one. And now we've even passed that.

This afternoon Jupiter had three friends over to B's paint shop to paint some pottery together. It wasn't supposed to be a party, but somehow morphed into one, so yesterday afternoon I had to beg and plead with my boss to get out of work early (after Monday's mental health day) today so I could attend the party. I figured it out when I started getting emails from the other parents about what Jupiter would like for gifts and what time should they arrive.

Then I ended up leaving work a half hour later than I planned. So I missed the actual painting. But I caught the very end of gift opening and got to eat a cupcake. Jupiter was busy with her friends and just checked in with me twice.

By the time we got home, she was exhausted. She completely denies that her birthday causes her any anxiety whatsoever. But I know better. Tonight she had a completely exhausted meltdown because she was trying to open her new box of beads and needed help and at that moment I was trying to make treats for school involving marshmallows and rice krispies and fruit rolls and I was in the time critical part where the rice krispies and marshmallow had to be spooned onto the fruit rolls before they weren't soft anymore.

Didn't happen. I got about five fake sushi rolls made. None of them looked like the picture in the book. Gave up on that plan. Will send cookies to school for special snack. Jupiter hung onto me and cried her exhaustion out. Then she ate and went to bed after one story. She called me in to lay down with her which I did until my alarm went off in the morning, but she slept well.

Fast forward to Thurs. night. We had ice cream cake and pizza. Totya came down from Conway where she lives. Jupiter gave me a big hug when she opened the Benderoos. She also got a drawing pad that shows you how to draw horses, a My Horse and Me Wii game, WiiFit plus (okay, that was for me too. But it does have a skateboarding game!) a couple Barbies, a plaid skirt and a few long sleeve tops, and a couple horse beanies.

Low key, and stuff she really likes. And Saturday afternoon it's going to rain, so we can stay home and play with the new stuff all afternoon. Perfect!

Now she is 6.

Tomorrow we're having pizza for dinner and ice cream cake at Mimi's house. I got her benderoos because she drools over them everytime she sees them.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Blue Ribbon Behavior

Jupiter got a blue ribbon on Saturday. It was the last therapeutic riding lesson of the session so they did a little horse show type deal. I didn't know we were not going to make up the last lesson of the session (no lesson next week because of the big fund raising event taking place in the ring. I'm all for the fund raising.) so I was surprised.

Both girls got a blue ribbon. Jupiter got one for her posting trot and for listening during walk on/whoa. Allie got one for a beautiful sitting trot and for steering accurately.

Jupiter is SO proud of that blue ribbon. It's starting to look a bit bedraggled as she has worn it constantly and everywhere. When we were in Home Depot she plopped it up on the counter to be duly admired and appreciated. Getting a blue ribbon was the happiest day of her life. Sunday she wore it to church and Sunday school. And a birthday party.

Fast forward three days. She wore it to school Monday and all the teachers duly admired her blue ribbon. I haven't seen it since Monday so she must have stashed it in one of her secret hidey holes. If she's hidden it away, it must be truly special.

mental health day

Jupiter and I are home today.

Since school started, Jupiter has had a hard time going to sleep on Sunday nights. Last night I was all excited because she fell asleep before 8pm, and I had wonderful thoughts about how rested and regulated she was going to be.

Big LOL.

She woke up before 1am. She finally went back to sleep somewhere around 4am. I tried laying in her bed with her, then not laying in her bed with her. I tried a Magic Tree House listening library CD. I tried getting her to rock herself. She read books for a half hour. She ate 1 and a half bananas. She wanted more food. I put on the radio. Finally she fell asleep. About an hour later, I fell asleep. Then an hour after that, I woke up and tried to figure out how to call out of my new department. Because NO WAY was I waking that child up. And I was only semi conscious. I left a message on someone's voicemail. Hi, Jupiter's not feeling well (kind of) and we were up most of the night (totally true) and I won't be in today.

Then I had the debate about sending her to school after she woke up at whatever time she woke up. Which would have been fine, I think. But I got to thinking that I honestly don't remember the last day we had to just stay home and veg out. Both of us. It sometimes feels like we've been going nonstop for a month. We may actually have been going non stop for a month. So we're both home today. Jupiter is alternating between playing, doing some work pages (writing and math), and sensory activities. Right now she's doing heaven knows what in the kitchen sink, invoving water, chopsticks, and a bag of animal crackers. We're going to have a quiet time this afternoon after her sheets come out of the dryer. We might bake some snickerdoodles. If the leaves dry out from all the rain (not snow) we may do some raking. It's a self prescribed low key day.

For both of us, in fact. While I was not sleeping I was thinking about how much I myself need a day at home. Still not liking the new job function at all. I have to go to work with people I don't know very well (after being in the same group for over six years) and who often don't get along with each other. I mess up a lot of stuff and people tell me all the time that I did something wrong and I have to fix it. Our computer system is still messed up and it creates even more stress. It's miserable and I have no desire whatsoever to be there.

Sounds very similar to trying to adjust to kindergarten, actually.

Someone wants to use the computer to use starfall, so I have to stop posting now. More later hopefully...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

stream of consciousness thoughts

Right now Jupiter is making a house behind the glider chair in the living room. She's wearing an old dress of mine which hasen't fit me in years, and I have no reason or opportunity to wear probably at any point in the future anyway. She has shredded a pink feather boa and the living room carpet is covered in an inch of feathers. Her entire dress up box is all over the floor on top of the feathers. She just informed me that her house is very stylish. My house is a mess. A big mess. We have had the discussion that it is HER JOB to pick up the feathers. She agrees that it is HER JOB to pick up the feathers. That's because it's not time to pick up the feathers yet.

Friday night I replaced the unsafe 99 prizm with a 2006 malibu Maxx. Jupiter enjoys the new car. We got home at 8pm Friday night, and Saturday afternoon when we got home from dance, errands, and riding, the car had already become ours. We'd eaten food in the car, filled it with stuff, and Jupiter had drawn in (make that on) the backseat. She tried to tell me it was an accident. I said, "You drew a PERSON." She enjoys the moonroofs. Yesterday she stared out the moonroof at the trees and powerlines and gave me a running monolouge. I like the car so far. I'm exceedingly depressed at how old Jupiter will be when I finish making payments on the car. It's been a long time since I've had car payments. But there wasn't much choice. Every time we get in the car it takes five minutes before we can leave because Jupiter is busy exploring and pushing buttons. She does love bottons and switches. Remind me to tell you the fire alarm story some day.

And that holiday I was so excited about in the last post? On Friday at 2:30 (just before I left to go get a huge gigantic car loan) we were called into a meeting and informed that we no longer have a holiday. I can see their point. I am not suprised. But I am not happy. At this moment, I don't believe anyone is happy. Most of Friday I spent reminding myself "I could have taken severance." And yet I chose not too. Remind me of why again? And guess which financial institution picked up my car loan? THE PLACE WHERE I WORK. Of course they did. Like they don't take back enough of my money every month already. I keep reminding myself that work HAS to get better. And from a logical standpoint, it would be difficult for it to get worse. And I could be unemployed, which would be bad too. So I muddle on. I miss miss miss my old job. I can't even SAY how much I miss my old job. There are not words for it. At least I can't think of them.

I put the storm windows down today. Fall weatherizing is here. The trees are beautiful. My furnace comes on at night. The trees are beautiful.

Jupiter's birthday is a week from Thursday. I have done NOTHING. Haven't been home long enough to have a chance. Good thing I put the bug in her ear about just having a small family party and maybe going to Boston for a day just after her birthday.

She is now running around in her underwear and is adding the screen from the storm door to her house. It's her "sliding door."

Now I have to finish the laundry, hopefully not have a feather battle, pay the mortgage because I forgot, make supper, fill out the hot lunch form, etc etc etc. I dream of getting caught up.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

We're still alive

Not much free time this week. Well, that's not entirely true. I have spent large amounts of time in the operations center at my place of employment. Some of it waiting for files and work and transactions to upload. Some of it frantically processing work after it finally manages to arrive. We've had people on our floor pretty much around the clock. My department has been around until midnight for the last few nights. I, fortunately, am exempt from staying until midnight. I've only been working until 6 or 6:15 pm. Which gives me enough time to pick up Jupiter, bring her home, get her ready for bed, and read a few chapters of The Magic Tree House before she falls asleep.

Hopefully after this weekend we will be back to normal. I tried to explain to her how the computers have been broken and so it's taking extra time to do all our work, but I didn't like it because I didn't get to see her very much. She misunderstood me and thought I DID like it because I didn't get to see her very much. Then no matter how I explained that she misunderstood me (probably couldn't hear me over the rumble crumble car) she was convinced that I had really said I was happy because I didn't get to see her very much. Because she won't ever admit she's wrong. Sigh.

Tuesday night (I only had to work until 5pm that night) we flew to the pool for a quick swim so she could try to work through some of her sensory issues. It wasn't nearly enough. She bounced on her bouncy ball for an hour tonight, I hear. I love the pool (even if they keep that water so darn cool) because she HAS to hold on to me, as the water is over her head, so it promotes an extra level of contact she tends to avoid. And it just makes her happy.

Tomorrow is Friday. Jupiter is pretty exhausted and displaying some anxious behavior at school the last few days...and of course our systems conversion (or lack thereof) has done nothing to help with that. In one more week we have a holiday and an extra day can't come soon enough!