Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Straw that broke the Mama Camel's Back

It's been a long week. Up late, painting, busy, inauguration watching, looking for my living room floor kind of week, short on sleep kind of week.

For the most part, I've learned to live with Jupiter's mean side. I can't think of the "nice" way to say it right now. Tact and empathy are not her strong suit. She calls it like she sees it. She is not submissive or obedient. She wants her way. And I do love her strength and determination. But then there are days...

On Friday, I got out of work early and stopped at the gym, then went to pick up Jupiter. She was laying in her bed at Mimi's house, and said hi to me, then when I tried to elaborate on the conversation, she yelled "GO AWAY!!" at me. I tried to stand up to that, but she yelled, "NO!!! GOOOOO" at me. So I left, already upset. But then she yelled, "MIMIIIIIIIIIIII".

So okay, she wanted Mimi. She had a two hour nap that day, she loves Mimi, and they're very close. And when I show up, she knows it's going to be a transition time, and that sets her off too. Normally I would just give it ten minutes and try again, and she'll be ready to include me.
But unfortunatly, aided by a heavy dose of of short on sleep and PMS, with a side of it's-really-freaking-cold-and-stupid-January-is-never-going-to-end, it threw me over the edge into tears. Once in a great great while, I get that nirvana when I come in the door and Jupiter says "MOMMMM" and comes to me. But not normally.

All week, I've gotten the opposite end of the spectrum. The whole litany of complaints and name calling. I'm icky, smelly, and weird. Stupid. And her current personal favorite: "It's your fault." Everything, no matter how far away from her I am at the time, is my fault. But she assures me that she doesn't talk like this to everybody, just me.

Sigh. She did lighten up a little bit last night, finally, when we were reading all 15 new library books, and asked to sleep in my bed. She took her pull up off Friday night because it was giving her wedgies and promptly wet the bed, so I had to wash her king size cloud comforter. (She uses king size because it provides heavy weight for her to lay under). The king size comforter takes about three dryer cycles to dry and wasn't ready when she was going to bed on Saturday. So since she wanted to be near me, and wasn't calling me anything mean, I let her sleep in my bed. She kicked me all night (not maliciously, just because I was there) and I feel like I slept a total of three hours.

Today has been peaceful for the most part. She's being demanding, and impatient when I don't immediately stop what I'm doing to get what she needs "RIGHT THIS SECOND." or preferably, before. I'm trying to look beyond this fact to the value of changing the dymanic. And later, we're going to bake a cake. She's been planning parties for the goldfish, which generally means she needs a cake. She'll plan parties til she gets someone to bake one. And she wants to help paint the bathroom, so maybe we'll work in some more painting. Fortunately I'm replacing the floor as well, so we don't have to be all that neat about it. In some spots. She'll get bored pretty quickly, but she'll feel like she helped and that will make her feel good.

She's just been telling me how much she loves the kitty. She and the kitty are sisters. She's having a big proud moment because she remembered her gentle hands and the kitty hasn't run away from her today. I'm so proud of her gentle hands!!! Maybe we can find a gentle word or two in there to go with them....


FaerieMama said...

I love your blog. I want more people to read it! I'm on a quest :)

Jupiter sounds SO much like Anastasia, even though there's about a decade between them. When I read about you two, I Imagine it is what life would be like here, had Anastasia been mine from the toddler years..

Happy cake baking!

Love Keri

hippymummy said...

Hi,i've been ordered over here by faerieMama and she's right, it is wonderful! Can't stop now but i'll be back this way again soon xXx